Day 3 is 15 Questions.

15 Questions: Read the section Dear Newcomer (pages 1-2). Answer the 15 questions (list those you relate to). Discuss with your 12 Day Sponsor.

  1. Do I eat when I’m not hungry, or not eat when my body needs nourishment? Absolutely. I often pick at things and eat through huge amounts of food a little at a time, not knowing when to stop or even how to stop.
  2. Do I go on eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until I’m stuffed or even feel sick? Yes. I can even “see” myself doing this sometimes, as in, I watch myself doing it, know I shouldn’t be doing it, and do it anyway for no reason that I truly understand.
  3. Do I have feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment about my weight or the way I eat? Yes. My husband doesn’t even know how much I weight, and I’d be horrified to tell him. I won’t weigh in at the doctors, and I’m avoiding the scales right now because I don’t even want to admit the problem to myself.
  4. Do I eat sensibly in front of others and then make up for it when I am alone? It’s not so much that I eat sensibly in front of other people, but I definitely eat badly when I am alone. Junk food outlets and snacky things in the pantry are a definite problem for secret eating for me.
  5. Is my eating affecting my health or the way I live my life? Yes, I’m not fit enough to walk home, and any more than two flights of stairs is a problem. I’m also worried about pre-diabetes, as my blood sugar is a bit high.
  6. When my emotions are intense – whether positive or negative – do I find myself reaching for food? Not so much, actually. If it is connected to my emotions I can’t yet disentangle the connection or understand it. It seems to be more random than anything, and I seem to be suggestible when it comes to food (i.e. if everyone else is eating, I will too, then I find I cannot stop).
  7. Do my eating behaviours make me or others unhappy? Yes. I am unhappy with the way I eat, and I think I influence my husband in a negative way when it comes to my bad habits around food too.
  8. Have I ever used laxatives, vomiting, diuretics, excessive exercise, diet pills, shots or other medical interventions (including surgery) to try to control my weight? Yes. I’ve exercised excessively, but thankfully nothing else. My first (almost) “no” answer! 🙂
  9. Do I fast or severely restrict my food intake to control my weight? Yes, fasting has been a big thing for me, particularly last year. I’d still like to incorporate fasting, but more from a spiritual side of things than a weight loss side.
  10. Do I fantasize about how much better life would be if I were a different size or weight? Yes. To be honest, it often feels like a lot of my problems would improve (particularly around clothing) if I could get to a sensible weight. I also think my self esteem would improve.
  11. Do I need to chew or have something in my mouth all the time: food, gum, mints, candies or beverages? My first NO answer! Yay! 🙂
  12. Have I ever eaten food that was burned, frozen, or spoiled; from containers in the grocery store; or out of the garbage? Yes, unfortunately. I have done all of these.
  13. Are there certain foods I can’t stop eating after having the first bite? Yes. Chocolate, biscuits, muesli bars and cream are a few of the biggies here.
  14. Have I lost weight with a diet or “period of control” only to be followed by bouts of uncontrolled eating and / or weight gain? Yes. I’ve lost a lot of weight a few times over, and it worries me that OA will be the same, yet another failure to chalk up 😦 But I have hope, just a little…
  15. Do I spend too much time thinking about food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning the next diet or exercise cure, or counting calories? Yes, yes, yes and yes.

So that’s my 15 questions. I’ve answered as honestly as I can. I’m starting to realise I have BIG issues around food and that I need help.