I had my third OA meeting tonight. It felt good, once again, to be able to talk freely about food issues with people who understand and are sympathetic.

In sharing time, I just blathered on. We’re supposed to stick to the topic, but I certainly didn’t do that! I’m not good at public speaking, and it’s kind of full on to share feelings and stuff that usually we never talk about.

I’m still working out why I do what I do, and why food is such a problem for me. When I binge, I don’t even know why I’m doing it. I see myself, almost as if I’m a bystander, watching myself. But I can’t seem to stop what I do.

Yet the people in my group really seem to have worked this stuff out. They’re not out of control with food like I am. I said to the group today that I’m worried I’ll fail. I don’t want to. But yes, I know I need help.

Thing is, overeating is a really common problem. I’m not alone. I’m probably in the majority of women, at any rate.

The difference is, I want to stop.