Step 1 says “We admitted we were powerless over food – that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Step 1 wasn’t as difficult for me to understand as you would imagine. I’ve known for a long time that I’m powerless over food. When someone asks “Would you like..?” my answer is invariably “Yes please!”

I felt like I couldn’t say no, and my husband (who is also battling a weight problem) and I were culprits for feeding each other, undermining each other’s resolve to eat sensibly and generally being each other’s worst enemies.

However, knowing you’re powerless over food and accepting you’re powerless over food are two very different things.

I always thought I could manage it, that it was just a matter of finding the right diet, and that all I needed was more willpower. Lurking at the back of all this was the suspicion that I was powerless, but I never accepted it. Surely a capable person such as me could get a handle on my eating! Other people did! Why not me?

I realize now that I was never going to get a handle on it by myself. I needed help. OA is that help.

I can be healed, but I can’t be cured.

The acceptance is coming. I’m on my way now.