I just ate dinner for what I hope will be the last time in a while.

It feels weird.

I had a piece of salmon, couscous and some veggies. It felt good to eat, but I’m aware that I’m still cramming it in (for want of a better expression) instead of eating slowly and tasting every mouthful. Which is what I need to learn to do.

Why I am doing this? I don’t even really know. I want to get a handle on my eating behaviours, and 40 days without any food seems like a pretty kickass way to do that. I figure my habits should be pretty much killed off at the end of 40 days.

If I make it that far…

I guess that’s also what I’m afraid of. Failure. Getting to day 3 or 4 (which are the hardest days) then just calling it quits, and not really having a good reason why.

So here I am, the night before, feeling like I’m about to run the marathon.

I’m not under any illusions that this won’t be tough. I’ll learn about myself – hopefully a lot. I’ll learn more about my Higher Power too. I know I won’t get very far unless I put my trust in him.

So yes, I’m nervous, scared, afraid of failure. Yet here I am, willing to give this a go.

Because, well…why not?